You are in control of your life and your choices. Do all that you can, know that you did all you could. Only you know when you reach that point.
Originally Posted by Catman19
Yeah so just found out through her login info she's already sleeping the next guy. Yeah time for scorched earth, I want to distance myself from this absolute train wreck now.
Yes, W is a train wreck. She on to OM number four. It’s obviously she is deeply hurt and desperately trying to fill that void inside her. And desperate people, do desperate things. She’s a lost soul.
However, time for scorched earth?!?
Within the wreckage lay the seeds to your future as well. How you act and behave matters. Burning it all down will affect you, just as will being kind and cordial and lovingly let go. Nurturing those seeds, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, is better than more destruction.
You are on two paths. One an emotional journey. Becoming healing, whole, and happy. The other is the business of separating and/or divorce. Treat the latter as a business deal gone sideways, for that is what it is.
While dealing with the business side, stay businesslike. Remove your emotions from the business decisions and actions you must take. Scorching the earth is not necessary to achieve separation. In fact, such a course would likely harm and impede things. And like I said, it will affect your emotional path. Harming and impeding your growth, healing, and happiness too.
So, less than the best course on both fronts.
I say fronts, for this is a battle. A war inside you. Find and make peace with the hand you’ve been dealt. Make going forward decisions based not upon emotions, for decisions based on emotions lead to regrets.
Realize doing nothing is doing something. I understand the feeling of needing to take some action or to be decisive. Yet, such is fleeting. Look to your logic and reason.
Look away from the train wreck. Focus on you and your life.
If you wish to list the house this Monday, then do so. Get it cleaned and list it. It doesn’t matter if W helps clean or not. Treat the task as an emotionless chore to get a martial asset liquidated. Do not paint your emotions upon it. Deal with your feelings, separately.
The idea is to make decisions and plans when you are calm and at peace. Give those plans a while to settle and revisit them a few times. Then, if the reasoning is still sound, implement them.
Interestingly, it’s a similar approach to our emotional path. Answers do present themselves when one is calm. Heat of the moment venting is a good and necessary release, yet seldom brings about the path to take. If anything, utilize your anger and frustration as fuel to self betterment. Sweating it out for example. Running, doing push ups, digging a garden, etc. Exercise and physical exertion is good, and brings about the very calm and clarity for those answers to seep in.
Hope you have a great Friday and weekend.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
