this is helpful to read, thank you. I have been wondering about some numbness that I feel - while also still recognising that this is not what I want for my life. I have a lot of thinking and growing to do in the coming months / couple of years. On the big decisions: I understand what you are saying, and I am staying well clear of those. It will be a while and I need to do a lot of work to figure out where I will take my life from here.
I have started doing more things for myself, doing a lot of exercise and sorting out things in the house that had been left standing around since we moved in. It feels good to see some progress and shaping a space that I do want to live in, as I will still be here for a while.
I keep giving her a lot of space, but also softly establishing some boundaries that she infringed upon initially. In particular, I need to be able to do my work and she has to accept that while we depend solely on my income.
There is a bit that I really struggle with, which will require some addressing in the future. In moving back to the UK, she wanted this house - which I thought would make her happy as it was her dream place. It is not easy to get rid off at close to the price we paid (I would be able to take the loss if we sold at some point. She would not). She also has no income, and I am not sure if/when she will get herself in a position to earn money. And we have our kids to think about. If at some point she does open up to reconciliation, this is something that I do want to address. Her behaviour risked blowing up much more than just leaving. Even if it has (probably) not gone to the extent that others on here have experience to date.
Plan for now is to focus on exercising, establishing more social contacts and doing the occasional thing that interests me. Plus spend lots of time with the kids. I am going to go to Burgundy over my birthday weekend this year with some friends - something to look forward to.
