Everyone slips or struggles at times. It’s ok. Get up, dust off, and get back on the path.
Originally Posted by Maturin
One more item to mention, and it's important. During the first conversation I told W that she decided to "blow up our family" when she had the affair and that I wasn't overly sympathetic to her needing more time, or taking it slowly. She grabbed on to that and said "I can see you're still not over it and still angry about it". She's not wrong.
Yes, that is very important. You have work to do!
Mat, no matter how this situation goes, no matter what happens, do you want peace with past? The affair?
Finding and obtaining acceptance (and forgiveness) of such a betrayal is difficult. However, it is for you. And within your control and abilities to achieve.
So yes. Very important!
Regarding dating. Totally agree, not while married. And, I agree with Boat, long time before you’ll be ready to. Or even should. Most folks jump into dating or their next relationship with far too much baggage from their previous one.
Originally Posted by Maturin
The mediator's first opening was this Thursday and I told her that would be the best time for me, and that I wanted to get the ball rolling.
Simply give her your schedule.
It’s hard living in limbo when one is trying to control things. Lots of uncertainty in limbo. Leaving the heavy lifting to W and just responding, is your best course to embrace such times.
Originally Posted by Maturin
I was ready to move forward and instead things were stuck, and I wasn't going to accept that.
And not accepting leads to loss of your calm grounded balance.
You cannot control W. She’s dragging things out, pushing your buttons, and so on. Let her go. Let her be.
You gave her your schedule. The ball is in her court. Leave it there. Let her do her part.
Don’t fret over yesterday’s conversation. Keep moving forward.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
