My W actually told me once that I "should have to sit in the house and suffer like I (W) suffered" in a similar situation.
I've heard essentially the same thing! And of course, I WANT to reply "Sounds good, I will stay here and you can go out into the world and build a career that supports a family of 5 in a high cost of living area. And remember, just food and groceries isn't enough, make sure you can afford to own a home and take nice vacations. See you tonight! I won't have dinner ready, I'll be too tired to cook."
Of course I would never be that petty and only "say" things like that here, to people like you who understand. I recognize the stress of being a stay at home mom is a real thing.
Truly, W is having a hard time. What's ironic is this: she has long harbored animosity towards my mom, though she would only vent it when drunk. She'd claim my Mom didn't like her, or was too judgmental, never helped, etc. But now, the person in both of our families who is most concerned and empathetic towards her is my mom. She is constantly describing my wife as lost and checking in on her, as well as finding ways to help with our kids.
Yesterday's meeting went fine, and we are now planning to have a consultation with a mediator. I can see that using the financial advisor, my FIL is pushing for a solution to keep W in the house. I am not going to stand in the way of that, but I don't plan to stay on the mortgage and that is what's being proposed. I am laser focused on what is best for me and the kids while not actively working for or against my W.
Taking the kids to a fair with some other dads this weekend, having dinner with a friend, and taking a yoga class Saturday morning. Feeling centered. Reading a book right now called The Art of Resilience by Ross Edgely, it's a good read for anyone interested in physicality and endurance challenges. And of course, it translates well for anyone going through a sitch that requires resilience of the mental and emotional kind as well.
