Yeah I'm doing the separation to protect my financial standing as I don't want her racking up debt as she's in complete delusion mode and finances to her are meaningless. Legal separation is usually followed by divorce, I am not doing it to push her to do anything I just can't tolerate the yo yo back and forth showing me affection while acting as if the other man isn't in the picture. I've wasted a year and 2 months digging endlessly for any hope. When we were together the last couple of years ivf was a major issue. That's completely done and gone, she would fight with me endlessly towards the end and I'd get defensive but a lot of that was because she was getting attention elsewhere, she reached out to female friends who are married saying she was having a hard time turning 40 so a lot of this is driven by a perfect combination of pressures. That along with 2 new jobs that introduced her to 2 affair partners and new work colleagues who are either single and promiscuous or divorced cheaters. Ilthe last year we were together I busted my ass planning everything for us. I have worked on all my flaws especially the drinking and the anxiety I have worked on a lot. My anxiety at the end was largely driven by her unwillingness to be grateful for the life we had and feeling of insecurity/low self esteem. I have no doubt I will be fine when this is all done, I'm not so sure about her, despite everything I have not let my emotions guide me as I am a thoughtful and measured person but she's all over the place right now, I can only imagine if she sees me with someone, it will break her likely based on how she's spoken to me or been ultra jealous since last January. I feel like if I don't push for the divorce I will not be able to live a proper life and I feel she needs to learn this lesson on her own, the dude has such a hold over her thinking and from what I've seen he's definitely using her, he's giving up nothing to be with her and she's probably a payday for him. Dude works as a mover, I saw an ad of him posting classifieds, he was asking for young girls to work clean. Who asks for young girls, older cleaners are better. He's the ultimate pig but she's going to have to learn this by herself. And I'm going to have to move on.
