I am really grateful for your perspectives - this is helping me a lot. I had taken to speaking to my family a lot but it kind of feels like a validation exercise for myself. So I have consciously cut down from speaking about my struggles with my relationship.
I have seen some change in her in the last two weeks in doing more again in the household. Although she is still a big up and down emotionally. I hear you guys on the goals that I had shared and will revisit those to leave more time; I suspect that she may actually want to come along to my family over Easter as she does want to get out of the UK for a bit, and wants to be with the kids.
Living in a logistically a bit more challenging area, I have taken to doing sports in the evenings. I think I will try to go out once or twice a month again and do things for myself. Some travelling to meet my friends would be nice; I have noticed that a lot of my friendships have gone dormant or gotten lost and her blowing up the marriage showed me that I had put myself in a bit of an odd position. Away from most of my friends and family, so need to rebuild life here.
DnJ, I am so sorry to read your story. This must have been such an emotional journey to go through - despite sensing a lot of growth behind what you write. One of the interesting things that you wrote is about MLCers not following through on things. I think she really struggles with this, and this has been a part of her life even before we met. She is very talented and smart, but somehow things never quite worked out for her; or she shifted tacks to a completely different path.
The physical space bit is the hard part in our situation. I am trying to manage our funds so that she can go away on her own every 6-8 weeks which may give her some of that. It is hard knowing what is right or not, so I am trying to keep out of her "headspace" when we are both home and not be the first to engage.
I wonder what may snap her out again of her crisis. From reading whatever I could find about this, it sounds like she will need to walk her path. Which may mean that she does not find back to a more sensible mindset where she is able to look at certain parts of her life with a more rational eye.
In all of this, she keeps making longer term plans what to do to the house, where the kids will go to school etc. And then the next moment I get to hear something that makes me think if she had a sip from the coo coo tree. It is such an odd experience...
