Hi all! I hope you're doing well. I've been swamped at work and have not had a ton of time to check in here.
In addition to work, I'm doing several things to GAL. I thoroughly cleaned out the garage which had accumulated a tone of empty boxes, old area rugs, and all the things that can pile up in a garage. I'm also trying to clean up my paper and digital files to reduce some complexity in life. Plus, since it is something you can visibly see quick results from, it is a good way to build some initiative up to tackle bigger issues. I've also started to make more time to read books I've accumulated over the years. Lastly, I've been getting out with family and friends regularly with another outing with college friends coming up this Friday.
W sent me her list of potential counselors. I sent mine back. W was a bit put off that insurance doesn't cover marital counseling. I've just let this topic sit in limbo since W initiated the discussion.
We discussed updating our family budget for the remaining time we had together. I shared with W that several new expenses, combined with record levels of inflation, led to significant increases in our expenses last year. W got angry that I wouldn't just cover these overages because I make more than double what she makes. I reiterated that we agreed to split expenses in proportion of our salaries to overall income and are supposed to maintain the status quo until the D is resolved. This practice has been status quo.
W said she'd have to talk with her L about this (likely meaning L will tell her to seek more in our financial settlement). I stated that it is W's right to talk with her attorney and that I can't force her to add anything to our family account. I further stated that I wanted to be transparent about our expenses and, to me, it is unfair for me to solely absorb an increase in our shared expenses. I ended the conversation by saying that I was going to increase my contributions to our family account, consistent with what we'd long ago agreed on and what has been our long-standing practice.
Phew. This conversation led me to start thinking about getting back to working on my boundaries for common relationships (at work, family, friends, in relationships), etc. and I'm genuinely looking forward to tackling some self-improvement work in that space. I know it will be beneficial and can become a valuable skill to teach D13 earlier in life since it isn't something you'll find in most schools' curricula.
Have a good week everyone. I hope to be more active out here in catching up on your situations and offering some feedback.
