So at the beginning of 2023, i allowed her back into the home, as i knew she had the right to be in the home, much of this month was arguing and me voicing my anger, i know it probably wasnt the right thing to do but i felt like i needed to confront her. We decided to go to MC, which in hindsight was a mistake. the MC would be very upfront with her and i sensed she wasnt too pleased with confronting her actions. During this month it turns out she had booked an apartment and left the house during middle of MC process, at last MC session i asked her to promise me to work on things with me and not see anyone else, she agreed. We began going on dates and wed spend time together, including Easter weekend. I was under the assumption we were trying to reconnect and she seemed to be enjoying our dates as was I. This was a big mistake on my part.
Mid March we were becoming intimate and she drops the bomb on me that i have to use protection. I was floored. It turns out the EA from late in the year had now become physical. This felt like DDay 2, after this i stopped doing the date thing and began giving her an ultimatum. I told her either we sell the home and move on or you come back and work on our marriage. Throughout this time the blame shifting and gaslighting became rediculous. Fast forward to end of May, one of our mutual friends was passing away at the hospital, I had used the 2-3 months previous to help her get her cancer treatment, in a way it had helped me heal and cut back on the alcohol which i was turning to to heal the pain and take the memories away. At her death bed the W decided she wanted to come back and work on our marriage. I accepted her back
This weekend she told me she ended it with the AP, apparently he called her a whore and said karma was going to get her (the irony). This dude had a daughter which he saw on weekends and was paying child support for because he had cheated on his ex wife. So this guy was definitely not a model man. He was the type that knew how to say what she wanted to hear. So i assumed that during this weekend she returned she had ended it with him, she showed me the messages and told me she blocked him. as a condition of working on our marriage i made it clear i wanted to go to Marriage Counselling and we both picked one we could agree on.
2.5 Weeks into her coming back she went to get things from her apartment. this day as i came home i got bombarded with pictures and messages from the AP, turns out he went to the apartment took pictures of her (non sexual) and sent them to me to try to sabotage our reconciliation. She had asked him to go to apartment to get his thingg, but didnt tell me he was going. This was like another stab in the heart for me. He also sent messages to me saying there was a 3rd guy she hadnt told me about also from work, it was another PA, so AP telling me about OM1 when i had only known about OM2. So she comes back home and im clearly angry, she grabs her bags, packs and goes back to apartment. She decides to come back a day later.
Just a note during this time i made a lot of changes, i cut back on drinking dramatically, so max 1-2 glasses of wine during dinner with her and that was it. I used the time she returned to plan things, wed go for coffee during our lunch breaks at work, go for ice cream regularly, lots of walks, watch sporting events, drive in movies, restaurants, cafes, and we had even gone out for our aniversary. I would drive her every day to subway for work. I was being very active and taking up old hobbies again like doing a full vegetable garden, etc.
So after she returns from apartment, she apologized and all seemed well, during this time we began seeing MC, if felt like the MC was trying to get us to both work on our relationship, to me it felt like an absolute cluster@!$#@! of rug sweeping. i hadnt even been able to mention how many affair partners there were.
1 month and 2 weeks into R we got into a big fight, the W went to a party with this friend who i call the devil, i got upset about it, we had an argument, she said something stupid to me so i went for a walk to cool down, i didnt take my house keys. I came back door was locked, her car was gone. I then get messages from AP saying what is it like to be with someone who doesnt love you.
Again another stab in the chest this was. 2 days later i check her phone and shes texting him asking if he misses making love to her. Again i fought with her. 3 days later and the last MC session, i brought all of this up, i broke into tears in front of MC and her and i was becoming tired of this. Later at night as we are having dinner, she tells me the OM2 from work that me and AP were becoming good friends, I said wtf yare you talking to him about our life, she says hes just a friend a friend who she had a PA with for 9 months and works with her. I had had enough I kicked her out of the house again.
