All I know for sure is I am glad I am not in his head.
Amen!
It’s wild how they flip and flop, ping pong, about. Angry, sad, regretful, angry again. Such confusion. Such emotionally driven.
Originally Posted by jessieht
So he went on a rant and was saying all kinds of snide ugly remarks in front of me and the little kids. the kids and i were on our way out the door for church so we left in the middle of his fit.
Good. Removing yourself, leaving him with his feelings is perfect.
Originally Posted by jessieht
Later that day when we got home I politely asked him if he could not talk bad about my son in front of me and the littles. And that was all it took. twice during the day he brought up us being done and him leaving.
Yep, it’s surprising what can set them off. A politely worded asking him to not talk bad is a reasonable request. However, MLCers are emotionally driven, not rationally/reasonably driven. H lashed out as he likely took offence and blame from your request.
Instead, just tell him. No asking, therefore less wiggle room for him to find “reasons” to lash out.
“H, when you talk bad about son it makes me feel bad, and is disrespectful. When you speak like that, when you are disrespectful, I will simply go elsewhere. I will not talk with, nor listen to you when you are like that.”
Any rebuttal from H does not matter. You didn’t ask him to change. You simply told him what you are going to do if/when he is disrespectful. You placed the responsibilities and accountability upon his shoulders. All you do is take your actions accordingly.
H is a headstrong teenager. Treat him like one.
Stay strong. Kind and cordial, and with strong boundaries.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
