I am doing exactly this. It's so counter-intuitive as it feels like I'm making his life easier and it's easier for him to move on when he thinks I'm okay without him. It's hard to stop guilting him over his choices when my heart is broken and my kids are suffering but I know it will be better for my mental health no matter what.
This is so true. It is counterintuitive. But as you've figured out, this is for you, not him. You aren't going to play at moving on; you are going to take all the mental steps to do exactly that. It will get easier day by day, believe it or not.
He WILL notice how your behavior is changing, and it will confound him. Times will come when he will push your buttons. He will remind you of things you did that hurt him. This is bait, and he will try to get you to rise to it. You will learn to resist, and make no mistake, that may anger him more. Let it happen. If he doesn't want to give a chance to repair your marriage, he will think that you are going to lie in the bed you made. What he needs to realize is he is making a bed for himself. He will also feel consequences from YOUR departure.
You might feel like you are backsliding occasionally, but with time, you will recover more quickly.
Me 59 W 47 T 26 M 23 S18, S14 BD May 2023 D filed June 2023 OM1 confirmed: December 2023 OM2 confirmed: October 2023
