24 (thread 2)

[DnJ]

Hello Rock

I’m happy to chime in. It also gives me a break from my cleaning.

A separation agreement is similar to a divorce. It disentangles the couple’s shared financial interests. It also clarifies their ongoing shared interests and responsibilities. It is legally binding. It is a business deal.

A separation agreement is the prelude towards a divorce. It also serves as binding agreement during the cool off period. However, it is not “quite” written in stone. A separation agreement can/may be subject to change when one actually files for divorce. Usually, with no significant changes and/or conflict, the in place agreement was followed and lived with for the cool down time period (or more) and then is just forwarded as the divorce agreement.

Legally, the separation agreement at date of signing, legally cleaves the relationship. There is a time frame when in, if the couple does get back together within a certain time, the agreement and all legal changes therein become null and void. It’s like it “legally” never happened.

Anyhow, to your queries (and a few other items/thoughts).

When I told W be email that I was at the place in my return to work where I am able and want to cover the whole mortgage, she said she thought that was too much to ask of me and she contributed half the mortgage to our shared account as she has been doing.

I continue at this stage to contribute the whole amount of mortgage and accept W contributing 1/2 and I cover utilities maintenance and upkeep of the home. If the shared mortgage funds become adequate I can propose that we take a break from contributing.

I am surmising you want the house.

L is drafting the separation agreement and I consider this stage to be where W and I have a chance to negotiate so that we can inform what goes into that separation agreement.

So far, W has balked at my email inviting her to send me her proposal for me to look at even after I clarified that I meant - how she proposed to split up our marital assets.

Your lawyer is drafting a separation proposal. It becomes an agreement when both parties sign the dotted line. You likely would forward your signed proposal to W for her signature or her counter proposal (actual sending and receiving done by lawyers). Be sure you are satisfied with what you propose, as W might accept it.

Unfortunately, W’s balking at your email did limit the first volley of negotiations. She may contact you after receiving the proposal and be willing to informally converse about things. Or she may not.

Remember this is business. So, keep it so. Assets and liabilities. Custody is likely a non-issue for you.

Starting point:

The proposed date of separation. Could be date of draft or date of W moving out. The later has some advantages. The cool down period might be considered already expired. It shows precedents with a two year informal arrangement/agreement.

Joint monies: 50/50. Pretty easy for cash, accounts, and other liquid assets. Investments and such are more difficult to split. Pension falls into the joint investment category.

Individual assets: Usually each person’s. However, there may be some legal definitions that make some things joint ownership.

Liabilities are similar. 50/50 and each to their own.

The house: As I said, I surmise you’d like it. So, buy her out. Assume the mortgage, and pay W half the accrued equity. (Having a separation date from two years prior will likely have you owning W a bit more equity due to your period of not working full time.)

The tenet income: Take it over. This is a separation. Do not remain in a joint business venture with her.

Alimony: If you are responsible for paying her alimony, you could offer an upfront lump sum payout for her to waive alimony. Or higher monthly amounts for a fixed term. Or go along with whatever the calculations state.

If you are entitled to alimony, you may consider her house equity instead of some or all of monthly alimony.

Or you two are matched and there is little to no disparity. Maybe your two pensions equal out too.

Without actually knowing the amounts I cannot offer much concrete advice, other than there is wiggle room. House equity, business buy out, alimony, pensions, and the 50/50 stuff. All of it can be negotiated and/or waived.

Add in material assets. Basically, your clothes and stuff is yours, and her’s is hers. Pots, pans, appliances, furniture, etc. - a few ideas. Firstly, if W has anything she is really wanting, an heirloom or some such (and you are ok with it), list it and ensure it clearly shows it’s her’s. (And a little goodwill might help.) After that, I’d likely suggest an overall value for all the household stuff which will just stay with the house and you, and just give her that amount on her side of the balance sheet. Selling and splitting up the profits seems too time consuming.

An important clause my L included was that at the time of the signing of the agreement whatever properties, not including listed items, that are in each other’s possession becomes their property. It helped so much. My house wasn’t a storage place, nor a shopping mall that way. Once signed, anything she hadn’t picked up became mine.

What do you see as the best way to manage the tenant rental income ? Tenants rent a suite in the marital home. So far that rental income has gone into our shared account and we have budgeted from that for shared expenses. Would you suggest I propose a change with that?

I’d leave it all as is. Let the mortgage funds accumulated. Just keep track of everything.

Precedent. Don’t mess with the demonstrated history here. W has been able to support herself and not wanting the house for two years.

This is business Rock. You are undertaking cleaving all financial ties with her. That’s the goal and outcome with such an agreement. Like I said, be sure you are satisfied with what you propose, as W might accept it.

D