In DB and/or DR, the author talks about acting "as if..." in a few different ways. If I correctly recall, when it comes to the Last Resort Technique, she recommends that you act as if you have a life and are moving on with your life. Or, act as if you will be fine no matter what the outcome of your current marital situation. You mentioned that you read Sandi's rules on this forum and Sandi talks about it a bit there too.