I just reread your first post and sure enough, he's blaming you for everything. Classic playbook.
I'm realising now just how often he did that throughout our marriage. I hate conflict and people being upset with me so I'd bend over backwards to appease him. I even talked to him about it, told him he made me nervous when he was angry and mentioned how at times like this, he'd get more sexual favours. He'd never realised and looked ashamed and apologised to me.
Originally Posted by Sunflyer
His AP does not sound like a good risk, to put it mildly. I see some parallels between your husband's situation and my wife's. Her current AP is younger than her and (a lot) younger than me. He's coming out of a marriage that lasted less than five years and is currently living in his parents' basement.
No-one thinks it will last. She is needy, insecure, childlike, immature and needs constant reassurance. He's not good with empathy and his love language is acts of service, often around food and alcoholic drinks, neither of which interest her much. She's 35, still lives at home and hasn't had a relationship longer than a couple of years. Also claims she doesn't want children as she's 'too old'. They bonded over discussions about their wayward childhoods, childhood photos, music he listened to before he met me, food he loved growing up etc.
There are so many red flags.
Originally Posted by Sunflyer
What attracts wayward spouses to these "stellar" prospects instead of working to improve what they have right in their hands is something I'll never understand.
I don't get it myself. He's leaving a comfortable family home to move into a shared house, living in one room, likely with an uncomfortable bed, mismatched furniture, rotas for cleaning and using bathroom/kitchen. Leaving almost all of his belongings behind, giving me everything. He can't drive and may not be able to take his bike so will have to walk or take a cab everywhere. Has high debts so cannot buy a house. He's attractive but overweight, balding and has some health issues. It's hard to see what a younger, slim, pretty woman would see in him.
