I agree, no response. If you must, wait several weeks.
This is my first draft on how I would respond to my X:
Quote
To be clear, I am supporting your decision. I believe you are confusing the word fight with argue. Negotiate might be a better term.
My understand of the process: The first step in negotiation is your proposal on what you think would be a kind and thoughtful agreement. The second step would be reviewing, and giving you my counter proposal. We repeat those steps several times. If we get stuck, then we hire a mediator to help resolve the differences.
Regards, Rock
My thoughts on how I came up with that.
Fight has multiple definitions. You do not want anyone to beleieve physical fighting happened. Start using the most approriate words from now on. Words have specific meanings in the legal world.
Negotiate the process now. Clarify the process with her.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Have her lawyer contact your lawyer. It’s been freaking years of this nonsense. Woman just got back from having her fun on the side but isn’t doing well?
If you aren’t full of it, you are as weak of a man as they come and that’s about as unattractive as it gets. You will continue to be manipulated and lose more years of your life you’ll never get back. You will continue to live going nowhere with no direction.
You’ve seen 3 or 4 lawyers. You get the same questions asked and answered over and over. No one is going to tell you this is it Rock, this is the time you’ve been waiting for, go save her.
Stop communicating with her, your children are adults, even the special needs children seem to be high functioning, just stop with the excuses and nonsense.Hire a freaking attorney and get your balls out of her purse.
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
I have had a conversation with my L this morning. This is in motion and I am staying on track and focused. I value all of your input encouragement and yes honest rebukes.
Rock you ever see the movie Taken with Liam Niesen? You know in the beginning when he talks her through what’s going to happen to her on the phone? That’s what we have been trying To do for you. We knew what the outcome was going to be and was best preparing for it. Imagine if his daughter did the opposite of everything he told her on the phone?
Then share your family net worth with them. Then they can decide how much of that they want, agree to argue with each other for as many billable hours it will take to drain you both. After all of your net worth is gone, they will decide to settle so you will not have to go before a judge to make the final decisions.
Put the cookie on the table (all your assets/debt). One person gets to split the cookie. The other person gets to pick which half they want. Do not quibble about the crumbs.
You let her split the cookie first. If your part looks significantly bigger. accept her split. , If her part looks significantly bigger, break off a part that makes it even. If she agrees, great. If not go to the mediator.
Right now, you have almost the whole cookie. You can eat as much of the cookie as you want until the divorce paper work is filed with the courts.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Then share your family net worth with them. Then they can decide how much of that they want, agree to argue with each other for as many billable hours it will take to drain you both. After all of your net worth is gone, they will decide to settle so you will not have to go before a judge to make the final decisions.
Put the cookie on the table (all your assets/debt). One person gets to split the cookie. The other person gets to pick which half they want. Do not quibble about the crumbs.
You let her split the cookie first. If your part looks significantly bigger. accept her split. , If her part looks significantly bigger, break off a part that makes it even. If she agrees, great. If not go to the mediator.
Right now, you have almost the whole cookie. You can eat as much of the cookie as you want until the divorce paper work is filed with the courts.
Just out of curiosity, but what about the last 2 plus years makes you think Rock can handle this on his own? Let’s say he’s on the up and up. How much is his mental health worth? He doesn’t take any advice at all. He hasn’t learned the basics, but keeping him planted, right where he is you think is the best option? He's been talking about this for over a year. The same back and forth about getting this even started.
But yeah let’s let Rock, who still can’t stay away for a holiday, yeah let’s let him do all the talking and negotiating with his W, who knows exactly how to get what she wants out of him and has had years to get ready for this. What’s that gonna look like without a lawyer.
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
Just out of curiosity, but what about the last 2 plus years makes you think Rock can handle this on his own?
Rock has to make a choice from many options. One of the decision points has to be the $ cost. Only he knows all the details.
Originally Posted by JosephS
Let’s say he’s on the up and up.
I do not know if Rock is trolling us or someplace on the spectrum, but others are following along, or will read these threads in the future. The more information each of us is armed with, the better choices each reader can make.
Originally Posted by JosephS
yeah let’s let him do all the talking and negotiating with his W, who knows exactly how to get what she wants out of him and has had years to get ready for this. What’s that gonna look like without a lawyer.
I am sure it will be a train wreck if he does what he feels like rather than using some logic to make his choices.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
