The DB book has just arrived today so I'll get stuck in about it later.
I've just realised I ordered the Divorce Busting book. Divorce Remedy is now also on order.
Originally Posted by DnJ
He needs to feel the loss of you before he might alter his path.
This is what I keep telling myself. He clearly felt it more when I was resisting his advances and he was trying harder and harder.
Originally Posted by MistyDD
I'm unsure how to handle the whole thing about whether I would take him back or not.
Originally Posted by DnJ
That decision is a ways off at the moment.
I guess so. Because of his wavering I did want to make it clear to him that I'm not pushing him out of the door - it's his choice to go.
Originally Posted by DnJ
You likely wouldn’t, don’t, want H as the currently confused guy he is. You don’t want to be plan B. You are the prize!
So, if/when he gets his mess/life cleaned up, you’d be willing to explore the possibility of you and him. To see if there is any spark, any chemistry. To see if you actually like him. To see if he likes you; the new and improved you. Remember, you ain’t going to be just sitting around, you’ll become MistyDD2.0.
It's a very good point. I think even at this junction, he'd be better alone for a bit to see how it feels. I also feel if he stayed now it wouldn't be for the right reasons. He needs to be alone and probably with the other woman to truly know what he wants.
Originally Posted by DnJ
Time and space. Let H’s doubts and feelings work for you. Let his guilt, regrets, shame, and such speak in his mind. H’s affection, attention, cake eating, etc is him trying to quash those feelings within him. Deflecting, running, and such.
Ahh, he needs the reflection time alone without me around. Although he'd spend it constantly messaging the OW anyway (time differences depending). Although he says he doesn't do it whilst I'm in the same house. So maybe I just shut myself up in my bedroom.
The other things that have been noticeable is how often he calls me by terms of endearment - darling, honey etc. So much more than he ever did before. Plus when he hugs me, it's like a bear hug and he spends ages caressing my head, hair etc. Rubbing my feet. Begging for cuddles. When he kisses me, the passion in it is like the first time. It's like we're strangers to each other, just getting to know each other in that sense. Very weird.
