Curious question: has she voiced any change talk about her drinking or self identified problems from it?
Yes, she knows she has an issue and has expressed desire to fix it when drunk. She won't talk about it when sober and I no longer press as part of the DB process, bc that feels like pressure to her.
Originally Posted by Boat14
If you are not prepared to say the above you are not ready. Especially if there is something she can say to stop it.
I can say that I am ready. I'm done living like a divorced couple but having the constraints of a marriage commitment.
But Boat, what do you mean by "something she can say to stop it"?
If she were to reply with "I'll stop drinking and start spending more time together, I want us to be married" etc, I would tell her it's just not that simple.
Yesterday I took S8 and S5 down to the beach for the entire day, it was awesome. We're getting a mid winter heat wave and spent the entire day outside with a friend and his family. W took D5 to lunch then went to her brother's house and drank all day; she and D5 came home in an Uber.
After we got the kids ready for bed and set them up with a movie I walked over to a neighbor's house to hang with him for an hour. He mentioned they had spent the entire day at home with their three kids after plans to be away were cancelled. They played board games, rode bikes, watched a movie - had what I consider a very normal family day. And not once did either he or his wife crack a beer or pour a glass of wine until the kids were in bed and I came by.
I am so entrenched with an alcoholic that I've forgotten much of the population doesn't feel the need to stun themselves silly just because it's Saturday. I'm determined to get my kids out of this situation.
