I’ve decided not to job hunt right now, but rather to turn around my performance at my current job first. It has been terrible, honestly. I’m depleting a bank of 10 years of great work. If I took a new job, I dont want to start somewhere new while I’m scatter brained, struggling to focus, etc. So I’m trying to rededicate in my current role and get back to performing like I have before.
Good for you!
Yes, a decade of employment and investing into a career is a lot to toss aside. Rededicating your efforts into your work performance is excellent both for job (satisfaction and output) and getting back to yourself.
Originally Posted by Card29
Now for some probably not-so-good news. I’m in an internal battle right now. I thought I was settling comfortably into single life. And I still have absolutely no desire for a relationship. But soon after my last post, I connected with a girl that I’ve known for a few years. We were mutual acquaintances, no history, not even friendship. But there has been an obvious spark. Nothing has happened beyond the night we bumped into each other (talking and playing games at a friend’s house), and texting since then. I know it should not progress beyond this, and I should let it die on the vine since I’m not ready to go anywhere with it. But it’s like a drug. The ability to have long chats with someone like this, I’ve been missing it for a long time, long before W left. I thought I was going to cave and invite her over tomorrow to watch tennis late (she’s also a fan, and the Australian Open is on super late/early on the US east coast). Maybe fate intervened; W offered some bonus days with S2 so she could go on a trip, so I get the little guy early. Therefore invitation was sent to the girl. I have my last counseling appt scheduled next week, so I should make it to that without any meet ups. IC has been invaluable and I expect her to steer me in a productive direction.
You know what I say about “but”. You’re trying to justify that which you know you shouldn’t.
Yes, absolutely. Affection is like a drug. It feels wonderful. So what! Feelings are temporary. Feelings are fleeting.
By the way, the drug is actually dopamine. Your brain is releasing it.
Some wise words, from a wise poster:
Originally Posted by Card29
I dont want to start somewhere new while I’m scatter brained, struggling to focus, etc.
You wisely are getting yourself back on track in the employment department. Do the same here. You have little/no desire for a relationship, and know you should let this die on the vine. But DnJ, I (fill in emotionally based justifications).
Emotional decisions lead to regrets.
Look to logic and reason. And to your beliefs and convictions.
Certainly listen to your feelings. Acknowledge them. Understand what they are telling you. And take this information into account when deciding your path.
Your feelings are in conflict with your thoughts. And you are trying to adjust your thoughts and reason to match your feelings. However, always, even for logic and reason, ensure it follows your deeply held convictions. As in, does this course serve me?
Do you know thy self? Do you know and understand your beliefs, values, convictions? What you hold most dear? What you are not just willing to die for. What you are willing to live for! To stand for!
Scattered brained, struggling to focus. Been there. (((Hugs))) You need to heal you first. Elsewise, you’re dragging a bunch of hurt and baggage along.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
