Thanks for that, lots of food for thought. I've only just come across this forum and I'm feeling my way through.
Ultimately I'd like to save my marriage but I have little hope it can be saved so yes, I am hedging my bets because I don't to miss someone who might be right for me if this ultimately isn't salvageable anyway. Especially if it could take years.
I do realise that I need time in between to grieve the marriage, recover from the affair and build a new life for myself and my boys. I'm absolutely terrified of being alone, having never lived alone before and I'm at risk of becoming homeless with a flimsy support network around me. I felt worthless and I was seeking validation and comfort through the attentions of someone else.
My kids are fully aware that dad has a new woman and have been making jokes about me getting a new man too. I have talked to them about how they feel about it, as has their dad. Dad has told them it's natural to fall out of love with someone and in love with someone else.
I guess I also don't see it as cheating as we are now separated too, even though we still live together for the next month or two. I know it's technically adultery as we are not yet divorced but we are in the UK so the religious aspect is much less important.
