You hit the nail on the head, Boat. I was always clear that I thought her behavior was out of line, but I didn't know what a boundary was or how to assert one. Instead I would just criticize her in a passive aggressive way and hope she got the message.
Even if I had known how to assert a boundary in a healthy, loving way the thought of blowing up the marriage would have never crossed my mind at the time: for many years our friends and family thought of us as "the perfect couple" and I took pride in that. The idea that we would not be married for life or that my W would lose attraction to me never crossed my mind.
