This is so helpful, thank you so much for the response. It's illuminating.
You are right about the AP. I didn't think he'd affaired down as she's younger, slimmer and more attractive. However she is childlike, immature and emotionally stunted and both lost a parent young so have similar trauma. He does say she is not as smart as me too.
I'm confused about the affection though, it seems that we are in the distancer-pursuit game with him in the role of pursuit at the minute. I'm not instigating affection in any way and rarely respond to it but I don't stop him (he was stroking my head/neck and gazing at me for half an hour this morning). I'm not sure how to handle that best. He can't even sit on the sofa with out having some part of him touching me, even if it's his head on a cushion by my feet.
Secondly, what's the advice on seeing other people? I know it's all about focusing on myself and the children but another man has come on my radar and I'd curious to get to know him a bit more. Is that not a good idea? My friends have very mixed views.
