In keeping with advice received here I am focused on forgiving the action but and holding the person accountable.
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What this looks like I'm not sure yet. , but These guys are my kids's uncles (and I'm theirs) and we will have a life long relationship no matter what happens in my MR.
Using “but”, you’re telling your mind, reinforcing the idea, that these are contrasting and do not, cannot, exist together. That is one of the bigger hurdles in why folks have trouble with finding forgiveness, IMO. Both can exist, and need to exist, together, for forgiveness to flourish.
Forgive the deed, love the person, hold them accountable for their present behaviours, and enact boundaries on disrespect.
What these relationships will look like in the future, is unknown. You have a hand in crafting that future though. What do you want it to look like? Maybe start with, how do you want it to feel? I suspect you’d like peace. Feeling (believing) there is not some outstanding debt or them owing you something. What do you have to let go of for that? What do you have to embrace?
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
