Not Lost Anymore!Being the best version of ME!

[Pattnee5]

Thanks Card so lovely to hear from you and read your update.
Thought I would jump on and give a quick update now that it's been about 3 weeks since H left the country. Initially was a rough few days which I expected with emotions. He left all his stuff behind and took two suitcases of clothes so ive packed stuff up and spread out my clothes and slowly changing the room to be more " me". Kids are still on holidays for another week so we have been BUSY; single parenting is HARD. My family is helping where possible but they are also soooo angry at H that we have had so many fights etc that I am finding it much more peaceful for me to just do things solo; I have my best friend who has been a great ear of support with her husband too. He went though his own depression thing a few years back and she understands a lot about stuff. Plus the hardest part of blocking out all the background noise. I just find it easier to not talk about H and if someone brings him up just deflect. He has been " group messaging" me and the kids daily. Even called me last week after a week and a half just for a chat. Has gotten up early on a few occasions to FaceTime the kids or play online trivial pursuit, but for most the kids are busy so often just don't respond to messages. Typical teens. It's hard being a single parent. Im dealing with teen issues, D14 sneaking out to a party, S12 having friendship issues. But honestly I have just put H in a box and shelved him because it's the easiest way for me to cope while he's not here being a parent. Seems he's befriending a stray neighbourhood cat and freezing his butt off in the current central winter conditions.
How am I mentally/ emotionally? Im ok. I went to my first football training last week and remember that nervous feeling of walking in to something knowing nobody but boy was I embraced. It was great to run around for 1.5 hours too. I realised how much I missed team sport. I grew up playing team sport and even though I still go to the gym, there's something so soothing about being part of the team. Kids and I are good, we are becoming a well oiled machine.Lots of routine in place, taking them away to friends places, doing day trips, going hiking, S12 started boxing, life is generally good. I am so sad for H missing this and these precious moments. However the bond me and the kids are developing is absolutely unbreakable. They are my little rockstars. And we are photographing everything. These memories are priceless. Work and career is nothing. Family is everything,
Its funny a few years back for Mothers day my H gave me a card with this wooden plaque on the front that I removed and stuck on our fridge.
It read "Love is at the heart of our family"
I look at it every day and am so thankful for having my family my kids my babies and so much love in this home- especially while H is freezing his butt off in a foreign city, eating fast food and trying to establish new friends.
Stay tuned ill keep you updated how this story unfolds, but so far as hard as single parenting is, I would never in my wildest dreams trade it for a job on the other side of the world