I've never heard an adult carry on the way my W did this evening.
She informed me in the morning that she invited a friend to watch football at our house. With the PA out in the open I no longer socialize w my W, so I made plans to meet a couple of friends to watch the same game elsewhere. I spent the morning working out, hauling S5 to hockey, and doing the week's grocery shopping. Her friend arrived and I reminded her I was heading out soon to meet friends and she responded by firing tons of questions (where are you going, who will you be with, etc) and then passive aggressively saying "must be nice" and related comments. I didn't say a word in response. I suddenly realized she had already started drinking so I fully disengaged. I made sure the kids were taken care of then headed to meet friends.
When I returned W was drunk but not to a level out of the ordinary for her. Once the friends filed out she began rambling, almost like a crazy person. "I'm the only one who does anything around here / Must be nice to spend the day gone doing whatever you want / I do nothing for myself meanwhile you get to work out and hang with your friends". The house was a mess (there were 6 kids and 3 moms over total, so there were some miles put on the house) and W just went to bed. I handled bathtime and bedtime for the kids and cleaned the house up mostly alone. She did dishes.
I said almost nothing to her this entire time, just let her shout into the ether. This was a very angry woman full of rage and vitriol. The 180 here for me is that previously I would have tried to fix her feelings or apologize/engage her but instead I did my best to DB, which meant not saying anything. In retrospect I didn't validate her at all but I don't think this was the time - she was making no sense. She was definitely trying to bait me into a fight but there is just no way that's going to happen.
