I had an epiphany after yoga class today. One of the tenets of the DB process is that “things have to get worse before they get better”. This is exactly what’s happened for me over the last week: things became worse for me as I allowed myself to be pulled off center by W’s comments. As I have diligently DB’d and grown over the last several months it’s put a space between W and I which in turn has caused her to temp check and manipulate me back into the old dynamics of the MR: argument, conflict, blame, judgement. Instead of disengaging and allowing things to be “worse” while focusing on myself, I turned back towards her. I have clarity on that now and the confidence to reset back towards DB’ing consistently for myself: if I had kept doing that in the first place, perhaps I wouldn’t have taken things so personally last week.
