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Valeska19 #2949004 01/18/24 05:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Valeska19
Originally Posted by Rockon
Please email me what you propose and I will have my lawyer look at it

Rock


This is all you need to send. The rest is not necessary and honestly stuff you can't guarantee. Divorces are often NOT fair nor are the really what's best for the family.. rather the individual.

Remember... this is business deal. Nothing more.

THIS ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Rock, remember, succinct. To the point. All business.

Stop all pleasantries and fluff. No greetings, out closings. All business!!


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Rockon #2949005 01/18/24 05:39 PM
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Good Morning Rock

I’d reply as V suggested.

Definitely utilize the 48 hour guideline with this stuff. You want emotions to calm, to take a rational logic look at it, and then respond.

Do not thank her for the mediation invite or for anything about the divorce. This is business. Don’t erode your position.

D


Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.
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Rockon #2949006 01/18/24 05:55 PM
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I really appreciate your guidance and wisdom here community. I have some intentions:

Be strong and firm. Embody self respect.
Focus on practicalities of a business deal gone wrong and keep emotion out of it with any interactions with W.
Do not engage. Listen and STFU when she talks then say I’ll think about that. And move on be busy because I am busy.
Let my kids feel see and know where I stand and don’t parentify them but rather be their dad lighthouse and rock.

Last edited by Rockon; 01/18/24 06:03 PM. Reason: Spelling and grammar

M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
Rockon #2949007 01/18/24 05:56 PM
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And (see D no “but”), I want to avoid escalating a nasty fight with her.


M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
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Rockon #2949008 01/18/24 07:01 PM
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Hi Rock, good job posting your draft here allowing feedback. Edit all the fluff and use the fewest words possible to get the point across. IMO, no need to mention Lawyer to her.


"Email me your proposal and I will review it."


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
bustorama #2949009 01/18/24 07:16 PM
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Wise words:
Originally Posted by bustorama
If she is interested in finding a way to reconcile, she will find a way to communicate it to you. I cannot count how many of my W's calls/msgs I did not answer or return before we reconciled (hundreds, there would be multiple calls and hang ups and texts on many days). The first time I called her back was when she said she left a msg saying she wanted to meet up and talk about trying again. That was after multiple months of no answered or returned calls.




Obviously she wants to manipulate you. Do not let that happen. Be strong.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Ready2Change #2949019 01/19/24 01:39 PM
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Sent


M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
Rockon #2949020 01/19/24 01:55 PM
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Stay strong.

You got this.


Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.
Rockon #2949023 01/19/24 04:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Rockon
And (see D no “but”), I want to avoid escalating a nasty fight with her.

You need to drop this as a concern. Standing up for yourself and commanding respect will naturally cause her to lash out and be nasty. Remember, listen and validate, but if she gets disrespectful, shut it down and walk away.

"I refuse to be spoken to like this." Then walk away. Hang up. Go dark. Etc.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
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Rockon #2949031 01/19/24 08:27 PM
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Response just in.

W:

“Hi Rock,

My original proposal was that we could be friends that would enjoy spending time together and maybe even have meaningful conversations about our relationship. It makes me sad that you cannot spend 2 minutes with me anymore, but thats okay. Although it does leave me confused when you say you are married but are unable to have a coffee with your “wife”.
My new proposal is that we talk to a mediator instead of lawyers since it will save us a lot of money as we move forward redefining our relationship.

Sincerely,



M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
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