Here's why you can't believe what she says that's negative. Because she's trying to justify what she is doing. She can't reconcile in her head, "M is hot. We have amazing sex. But I still want the other guy." So she had to setup up that she's not attracted to you and that the SL with you is terrible so that what she is doing makes sense.
Not sure if it matters, but W is not in an active A. You've asked me this before and I know I can't be certain, but I've seen enough and heard enough from her and others that I am choosing to believe she isn't. The blowback from the one PA three years ago seems to have impacted her enough that I don't believe she's doing anything at the moment.
But to go with your logic, I can see how she would re-write history to say "M and I never had real chemistry, so you can't blame me for having an A." She actually said a version of that while drunk last weekend: "Everyone is going to blame me for the PA, but part of this was about our SL". When I asked her to say more, and if the PA was about better sex, she backtracked and said "No, it was disgusting" which is more congruent with everything else she's said previously. So lots and lots of mixed messages.
Originally Posted by SteveLW
The other thing is the difference in men and women. For men, sex leads. If the SL is good then the relationship is good to a man. Women are the opposite. The relationship leads. If things are good in the relationship, then the SL is good to a woman. This is why LBH struggle because they are thinking, "if we can fix the SL, the relationship will follow". That will never work. So forget there SL and keep working on you, and be therefore by extension the relationship.
I hear you. This is where the fear comes in: W essentially told me on Saturday that she pleasures herself because we don't have a SL and that she is in fact high libido, just not for me. With the way she has gone out and partied in the past, it would seem to me only a matter of time before she slips up and does it again. This is the real fear I have. I understand it doesn't change what I need to do (continue focusing on myself). I'm just writing it down here to get that thought out.
Originally Posted by SteveLW
Please do not ignore the advice on the birthday party..
