M, these things are evolutionary. Go read my threads sometime. I tell a story that happened:
One night we were laying in bed after BD. She mentioned to me that she now saw me like -enter acquaintance's name here-, a man that while very nice is not someone my wife would find attractive. She said that's how she thought of me now, that I was just a guy she knew, and wasn't sexually attracted to. "He's a nice guy but I only see him as a friend." I flipped out. This was early on before I got control of my emotional attachment. And she was highly attracted to me in the past. And I had kept myself in good shape through the years through diet, exercise and keeping myself active.
After I calmed down we continued the discussion and I pointed out that a while back, as a way to spice things up, I had bought something (toy) that we had never got around to trying. She said: " Go get it."
I was stunned. One minute she was saying she no longer found me sexually attractive, the next she was initiating! I was shocked "And said 'Are you serious?" It was a natural reaction based on the previous "I now see you like X." She quickly backed away, I believe, because she realized how ridiculous the contradiction was.
It told me two things. First, she was still sexually attracted to me despite her words to the contrary. And second, I could not believe anything she said, and only half of what she did
If you read my threads you'll see that within a few weeks she was initiating sex with me more frequently than at any other time in our marriage.
However, at this point in your situation trying to mind read is a cheese less tunnel. The problem isn't whether or not you can believe what she says drunk or sober, but that you are engaging in these discussions at all. And then following that mistake by thinking you can believe anything she says at all!
Also, 99.99999% of walkaways rewrite history. Mine hadn't "been happy once in the 19 years of marriage". Which was patently untrue. Arguing with them is fruitless because you won't change their mind. And arguing with them lends too much credence to their words.
If you remember nothing else, remember this: "Believe nothing she says!"
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
