blindsided

[bustorama]

Also, you are probably aware of this, but anxious attachment leaves one vulnerable to being mistreated and putting yourself in a submissive/weak position relative to your partner, which can lead to them taking advantage of you, losing respect and attraction for you, etc.

Examples of anxious attachment behaviors from your words
1. Talking her into not breaking off the engagement
2. Begging her not to cheat on and blindside you
3. Telling her you are shellshocked
4. Telling her it was hurtful of her to say that
5. Saying you don't want the divorce

Women want rocks of men who are strong enough to reject their crap behavior and comfortable by themselves or setting aside partners who mistreat them. Because they are sure of their value.

Not men who beg them not to leave them, who beg them not to cheat on them without giving them a heads up, who emote that they are shellshocked and hurt, and who say they don't want to be divorced.

One of your tasks as you DB is to really dig into this anxious attachment with your counselor and yourself. It likely was exacerbated by your previous relationships (and now this one). And to develop a stronger self of self and healthier way of attaching where you are not as vulnerable to anxious attachment behaviors.

They turn women off and, more importantly, are unhealthy for you. I've been there.

Also, possibly see books like
No More Mr Nice Guy
Hold Onto Your N.U.T.S.
The Way of the Superior Man
Boundaries (updated) by John Townsend