Hi DnJ. Thanks for weighing in and for the helpful overview of how to use various commands on this site.
Originally Posted by DnJ
I'd likely would not provide the same support as I would a friend. After all, are you and her, friends?
Fair question. I wrestle with this a bit. Because of D13, I hesitate to think of W as just an acquaintance or someone with whom I have a business relationship. If we D, I want to maintain at least a productive relationship with W for D13's sake. One thing I remember from growing up with divorced parents is that my dad remained friendly and positive when dealing with my mother, no matter what. It wasn't reciprocated, but he did it anyway. Still does today. I realize W and I needn't be friends if we D to have a productive relationship.
When I think of friends that may be on the lower-effort side of my overall spectrum of friends, if one of them were to call me and ask for help, I'd at least try to be there to provide some fundamental support. I'd not do the same for people I'd consider acquaintances like a former co-worker with whom I lack a social relationship. Right now, W feels like something in-between to me.
At the same time, I realize that offering too much support to an XW can enable cake-eating. I expect one has to find a balance between demonstrating to one's child that you care about what matters to the child and doing things consistent with your values in terms of helping others, while also maintaining healthy boundaries with an ex-. I guess this is going to be a work in progress for me to explore. Again, I appreciate you raising it.
