Not Lost Anymore!Being the best version of ME!

[DnJ]

Good Morning Patt

All crises are change. However, not all changes are crises.

Midlife is change. Absolutely. And for some, being emotionally stunted and ill-equipped to cope with life’s pressures, they enter a crisis. If/when and how/who they exit is in no way guaranteed.

I remember where I was this time last year (weeks after BD) it was pure hell. So anyone new or reading this when everyone on here tells you time helps, it really does. You just need to work on turning the focus on you.

Remember how upset I used to get coming on this board saying how much he’s getting so angry at me and keeps blaming my affair from 10 years ago? And everyone kept saying that’s not the reason. Well you were all RIGHT. Boy did I let his words and deflecting blame destroy me.

he told me he doesn’t love himself, hates who he has become, feels stuck and like a hermit and wants to go find himself and fix his life.

You have clarity. Well done.

You cannot fix him, for you didn’t break him.

It’s pretty crazy to think what MLC is. As far as I can see my H is only about 18months in to his. I have a feeling it’s going to be another year or two before I see him shed this horrible alien.

MLC, the behaviours, the alien, it’s wildly staggering. A horrible thing to befall someone.

My XW is 6.5 years post BD. She is still a vanisher. Shares very very little with the kids. And nothing of importance. She is so secretive. She remains clearly her 18 year old self.

I am here in my safe happy home surrounded with love, with my beautiful kids and lots of family friends and a good year ahead. Who knows how this story will unfold. I’m still being the lighthouse. I just don’t have to see H crazy MLC boat battle the storm anymore.

The future is unwritten and will unfold as it will.

However, we do get to write upon those blank page. And you are writing a very wonderful life.

D