Maturin - My Story (2)

[DnJ]

Good Morning Mat

seems that emotional space would be that much easier to create when physical space is there as well.

Yes, physical space does influence that. Yet, that sword cuts both ways.

My W left the night of bomb drop. I immediately had lots of physical space. The pain, the loss, was near indescribable. Detachment was still a struggle, even with 100% physical space.

Just some more food for thought.

After all, one cannot un-ring a bell.

I turn 40 next month, perhaps that is why I'm having a hard time with the "patience" thing. I feel the sands of time slipping through the hourglass.

Yep. Transitions and pressures. Perfectly normal for one to feel such as they morph to the next stage of their life.

I’m 56. Successful, happy, confident, and at peace. Some things that worked for me:

Get your house in order. That’s internal. Who you are. What you stand for. For me that was a continuation of being responsible and accountable. I worked hard. Didn’t take shortcuts like fellow workers during training and such, so I actually knew my job inside and out.

Age brings opportunity for career advancement. I’ve had those fellow workers confide in me their doubts and fears, how they feel like an imposter in their work roles. Such is the price for “life hacks” and shortcuts. Take the long and patience road. Do the hard work. It really is its own reward.

Same for family and friends. Double down on what is truly important. Hug your parents while they are still here. BBQ, vacations, spend time with your kids while they still want to be with you , and while they still live under your roof. They move out far too soon.

Open and honest. Live that! Lies and untruths, have a price that eventually comes due. Be extra cautious of the lies one tells themselves. Always seek the light, and walk within its grace.

If you’re going to do something, do it right. When you do something, do a quality job. To the best of your abilities. Be it building a staircase, or hugging your kids. Bring the best version of you.

This time is the highlight of your work life and family life. This is the time when one is building upon their foundation. Later, golden years, this time is looked back upon as accolades and accomplishments, or as regrets and things put off.

For me looking back, the sands of time are more a companion than an adversary.

Time is a gift. Invest well.

Fear of being alone, or getting the shorter half of the stick when it comes to friends, kids, sex, and life in general. So much of this process has been overcoming the fear and I make it my daily task. A line from a song I like says "Change will come to those who have no fear", which I have modified only slightly to "Change will come to those who face their fears". It is now a mantra of mine.

Fear

Yes, facing your fear, letting go your fear, is one of the major hurdles/milestone along life’s journey.

For what it’s worth, it’s less overcoming and more making friends with your fear. Fighting begets fighting. Emotional understanding, acceptance of your fear is a powerful and profound thing.

Anyhow, today feels like a new day. I am jam-packing my weekend with GAL activities, about half of which involve the kids and the other half are just for me.

Perfect!

Have a great weekend.

D