-he told me on his own that he had in fact been unfaithful to me and cheated on me “ a few years ago” so pre BD. I have pin pointed it was around March or Feb of 2022 and prob on a work trip. I don’t know if that can trigger a MlC but I reckon it certainly played a factor. He had a mini meltdown crying in my arms saying how much he hated his work etc in April 2022 and then after that was when he really spiralled into MLC land with the anger and the verbal abuse at me. Remember how upset I used to get coming on this board saying how much he’s getting so angry at me and keeps blaming my AFfair from 10 years ago? And everyone kept saying that’s not the reason. Well you were all RIGHt. Boy did I let his words and deflecting blame destroy me.
This part really leaped out at me. Likely the AP ended things and that was why he was so upset. In both of my situations, when my wife's EAs ended I saw her mourn. It was rough knowing the second time that she was mourning the loss of another man in her life. The first time I saw it as grief for what she had done, until I found an email to some friends of hers explaining how sad she was at the loss of the EAP.
As far as how long he has left in MLC, I often tell people that the C in MLC should be for Change, not for Crisis. Sometimes people never go back to who they were before. So my hope is for you that deep down you're not still expecting that he'll magically snap out of it someday. It could happen but you can't wait for that. I see a lot of LBSs of MLC WASs just stuck waiting for that day to come. Please don't, keep moving your life forward.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
