UPDATE TIME: Happy new year all. Wow what a difference a year makes I remember where I was this time last year (weeks after BD) it was pure hell. So anyone new or reading this when everyone on here tells you time helps, it really does. You just need to work on turning the focus on you. The last few weeks have been busy and a bit up and down on emotions (more for H not me) He has decided to move to the other side of the world for a job.
A few things have since come to light: -our D14 had busted him with Instagram messages from women (mind you he doesn’t have Instagram or so we both thought) no digging up from there
-he had a few R talks with me the days before he left I just listened and validated. The mind of a MLC is truly sad. He says he doesn’t love himself, he hates who he has become and feels Covid lockdowns and working from home ruined him.
-he told me on his own that he had in fact been unfaithful to me and cheated on me “ a few years ago” so pre BD. I have pin pointed it was around March or Feb of 2022 and prob on a work trip. I don’t know if that can trigger a MlC but I reckon it certainly played a factor. He had a mini meltdown crying in my arms saying how much he hated his work etc in April 2022 and then after that was when he really spiralled into MLC land with the anger and the verbal abuse at me. Remember how upset I used to get coming on this board saying how much he’s getting so angry at me and keeps blaming my affair from 10 years ago? And everyone kept saying that’s not the reason. Well you were all RIGHT. Boy did I let his words and deflecting blame destroy me.
-he told me he doesn’t love himself, hates who he has become, feels stuck and like a hermit and wants to go find himself and fix his life. Told me he doesn’t want me to be lonely and I should date people because he will too. Also told me he is starting to pray again for himself and for me and the kids (he used to be Christian then went atheist for 20 years). Mentions some issues with his family/childhood but nothing major.
So now he is gone. Said goodbye gave him a hug wished him luck x he was so anxious and hyperactive almost leading up to the day. It’s so sad. I think he’s still in the tunnel bad (maybe with glimpses of realizing he has issues).
As for me it was emotional. I am ok thought I have my time to cry but I have been keeping the kids busy and spending lots of time with friends.its bad when you start to overthink scenarios but as far as I’m concerned he’s on the other side of the world with nobody and nothing and I am here in my safe happy home surrounded with love, with my beautiful kids and lots of family friends and a good year ahead. Who knows how this story will unfold. I’m still being the lighthouse. I just don’t have to see H crazy MLC boat battle the storm anymore.
It’s pretty crazy to think what MLC is. As far as I can see my H is only about 18months in to his. I have a feeling it’s going to be another year or two before I see him shed this horrible alien.
Last edited by DnJ; 01/06/2404:58 PM. Reason: Corrected a couple of typos.
M:41 H:48 T:20. M:16.5 BD: 15/12/22 -moved out 17/3/2023
