Best answer would have been “Why do you believe I only have ONE girlfriend?”
Respectfully, I disagree. Validation isn’t agreement or support. At a minimum, it shows someone is actively listening. And, it isn’t for her either. It is for him to end this discussion first without taking the bait she dropped with the comment. The suggested responses don’t offer up info about whether Rock is dating which is ultimately not her business at this point.
They also reduce the risk of provoking more discussion which, to me, anything suggesting he is dating, even as an attempted gag, are more likely to do even if Rock could pull off the humor. I agree with DNJ that she seems to be making this garbage up with her mom to avoid the reality that she is the reason he isn’t there and/or why she is with another man. Whatever the reason, that is no longer your problem Rock. She fired you.
I agree with R2C, the more you interact with her the more you lose. Put another way, what positive impact do you think these unnecessary interactions are having for YOU? To me, they erode any work you do around detaching or GALing.
Merry Christmas Rock. I see lots of people trying to help, wanting you to be successful, and offering you candid feedback. These are your gifts from us. Honor them by putting them into better practice asap.
Last edited by DnJ; 12/25/2307:49 AM. Reason: Corrected quote syntax.
Christmas Eve: sons and I went over to D’s in the afternoon as planned. We had a great time together.
Eldest S and I dropped off S and D at MIL’s for dinner. Neither her nor I went inside. Then we went out to the pub. S is a fine man of principles. In our presence making that time for each other and our words we communicated mutual respect and honor. He articulated to me how he sees I am showing up for my family. He and I then went home and played chess before going to pick up D and S.
At MIL’s everyone was very warm and friendly to me. Big hug and kiss from MIL. I didn’t linger.
Outside BIL came out to say good night, told me he totally gets why I wouldn’t want to hang around there and that he just loves me. I thanked him.
Tons of fun together back at Ds. Games, music, laughter and joy. We brought mattresses into the rec room and had a sleepover together.
In the morning, W came over and while she made breakfast with D, I went for a walk with youngest S. Eldest S had gone to take care of his dog then returned, spent some time with his siblings, and then went to nap in the rec room where he remained until W left.
The rest of us had a video call during breakfast with eldest D and GD while they opened gifts. Then we opened our gifts. I did not give W a gift but she gave me one. Once she left, we opened the rest of the gifts with S present.
After we cleaned up the house, D went over to have Christmas dinner with BFs family and S’s and I went for dinner with my family.
Yesterday morning I discovered that she flew out of country Boxing Day to be with OM. I suspected it but no one told me she was going away.
She had told me days before Christmas that my behavior was a problem in that I changed the plan to be at Ds and I didn’t make D involve her in the details of the plans and that it was so sad that that would be our only time together for Christmas.
Later in the evening Christmas Day she sent me harsh texts about my father. There was expressed hurts underneath and she said that it’s likely their paths will never cross.
I have planned each day out to stay on track. It’s still holiday season here, though I am working this week, and we are continuing to be festive and fun involving friends and family.
I’m closer to that point Steve.
Last edited by DnJ; 12/28/2309:25 PM. Reason: Corrected typo.
Yesterday morning I discovered that she flew out of country Boxing Day to be with OM.
I can imagine everything they did and I have a great imagination. I bet they had a great time.
Is this what you want out of life...or need?
From what you post, I get the impression you are a religious man. Do you read the Bible, or a different religion? What passages tell you to tolerate this? What passages say the opposite?
You are so fixated on one woman. You have wasted the last year simping for her rather than gaining respect.
I challange you to stop posting about her.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
It sounds like you made it through Christmas pretty well.
Very nice to see son realizing and recognizing you and your efforts. By the way, the other kids do too, in case they haven’t as of yet articulated it as openly. Who won the chess game(s)? Gosh, it’s a real workout for me to squeak a win now. Kids are so darn smart.
Originally Posted by Rockon
I have planned each day out to stay on track. It’s still holiday season here, though I am working this week, and we are continuing to be festive and fun involving friends and family.
Good for you.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
Today was my most satisfying day so far in my return to work and as I have described, successfully returning to the work I love has been the best antidepressant, mood stabilizer, competence reinforcing, confidence boosting drug I can imagine.
Entertaining some fun dear friends this week. Really good food, some drinks, games. Did I tell you all I started running now to add to my daily nature walks? Just a long walk today though because I am sore from running and recovery is training.
