Book a few sessions with a psychologist, lay it all out, tell them you think you’re ready to pull the ripcord.
They’ll be able to give you guidance on how to identify if you’re truly done so that you’ll be able to move forward with confidence.
The other thing to remember is that divorce is not necessarily the end. But it draws a very strong line in the sand. If you divorce her, then in two years she has a sudden epiphany and gets her sh** together, there’s nothing stopping her from coming back with an apology and a desire to try again. But in the meantime, it provides certainty for you emotionally and financially, plus it will make things more stable in the long term for your kids.
Generally though, by the time the wayward wakes up (if they ever do), the LBS’s position is a firm no because they’ve got their self respect back.
