We spent both Halloween and Thanksgiving separately, which was hard. I had D7 both holidays. After Tgiving, W started warming back up and wearing her wedding ring again and after a week I bought in and started thinking things had changed. About three days after I started opening up she flipped back to cold wife and I have been detaching again ever since.
Lastly, yesterday we went to lunch and on the way home she was crying. I asked what was wrong and she said she’s not happy with our situation. She said she keeps waiting for me to change and be more available and connected. The last couple weeks I was detaching and it started feeling like we were roommates to me so I assume she got a similar vibe. It seems like that’s what I’m supposed to do based on the guidance here. It certainly makes ME feel less volatile and more secure/stable. But she says she wants the opposite (more contact, fawning, etc) even now. Am I doing the right thing? Is she just trying to control me? What am I supposed to say/do when she directly asks for more but I’m throttling back?
Thanks to anyone who took the time to read all this. And double thanks for any response.
(I’ll save discussion of stepkids for later post since this is already too long.)
