The biggest reason I have stayed over the last 3 months is D7. My wife is so inconsistent and preoccupied with OM that I worry for my daughter. My wife is a stay at home mom but she often leaves to meet OM who lives 90 minutes away in another state. There has been an instance where my wife was not home in time after D7 got off the bus and she went to a neighbors house. W missed open house because she was ‘nursing’ OM after a dental procedure; I rushed home and took D7 with me to open house when I figured it out. There was also an instance where school nurse called to have wife pick up D7 but W was out of state with OM so the 17 yo picked up D7. My work arrangement mostly prevents cell phone access so I didn’t see nurse’s calls until after it was all over. W covered it up. This is bad situation but I also feel like things would be worse if I weren’t as present. I worry that as bad as those things above are that they wouldn’t be enough rationale to grant sole custody in a D. So instead I’ve been detaching, keeping an eye on things, focusing on my daughter, and trying to give what’s left to myself. Like I said above, I’ve figured out how to maintain the peace with W so outside of the mental aspect of rejection it really isn’t that bad.
W has been incredibly unpredictable which has made GAL unreasonably hard. She had weeks where she was gone for the weekends then stopped, got a job then quit after about 5 weeks—each major change takes a month or so to see a pattern and come up with a plan/schedule… then pow it changes. I have been successful starting to run 2-3 times per week and go to dinner with a buddy once every ~3-4 weeks. I get “stuck” in the house because someone has to be home with D7. I made the most of it when I was at home by doing home improvement projects that boost my esteem a bit but they don’t get me interaction with other people. Does this count as GAL at all? Also had sleepovers for D7 and other outings like corn maze and trip to mall when wife was gone those weekends. Really struggling on this front—would appreciate any suggestions.
I was gonna sign up for an athletic class one or two nights a week but W complained that I was already not home enough. I feel guilty for not being home more in the past due to my job so that struck a nerve. I know I shouldn’t let it sway me as much as I do.
Since start of school a few years ago I get D7 ready for school and on the bus … and also do the night routine during the week. It makes for long days. Recently the solo weekend duties and extra housework since W mentally checked out have been especially draining. W ebbs and flows with how much she does. Before affair she was a great mom.
