W went out to a holiday party last night. Prior to leaving she made a few comments that she didn't even want to go; well she did, and she ended up staying out until 1:30am and went who knows where. Another example of believing none of what she says and less than half of what she does.
In years past this would cause an argument because I would criticize her for staying out late on a weeknight as a married mother of three etc. Now that I am working on detachment I plan to let it go, not even discuss it, and just get on with my own GAL. While I am tired of it, I'm also looking forward to the near future where this is no longer part of my life. At this point I look at the continued late night drinking as a sign she isn't serious about R and wants to keep the WW lifestyle going.
I made a point of inviting a friend over last night for steak and a few beers and it was good to chat with him while W was out. He is one of the few friends who are aware of my sitch and talking to him is a helpful reminder that normal people don't behave this way, which he likes to point out.
I am apprehensive for the weekend. W is hosting Christmas Eve at our house w her family and apparently some of our friends will stop by; I've told her I won't be there but I fear there is some conflict ahead. She'll be hungover and stressed today, and will probably keep drinking this afternoon. I plan to focus on the kids and spend time with my family and friends. Focused on living in the moment, not worrying about the future, and having zero expectations. But some days that is harder than others!
