Maturin, June 1st isn't a date you say one time and forget. It is a date that you actually work towards. The beauty of it is that it gives you a date that you know you will move forward past limbo. Light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. Otherwise, it feels never ending (and in some situations it is never-ending!)
Thanks Steve. Reminds me of one of Sandi's posts in which she said something to the effect of "A WW will fight against any deadline and wait until the 11th hour to change" (paraphrasing). Which is why we keep these deadlines to ourselves I suppose, like so much else in the DB process.
One vignette from the weekend I wanted to share: the news of the PA is out among a small group of our family and close friends (W is more responsible for this than I am, as she is confiding in certain girlfriends). One of these friends was over late on Saturday night and she, W and I sat up having a nightcap after attending separate holiday parties that night. I didn't realize this friend knew about what was going on until my W slipped and made a comment, to which this friend replied, "Ok, I have to say this. You're absolutely crazy if you think Maturin is going to put up with this cr@p! Do you know how many single women would want him? If you're gonna act like this just give him to the rest of us!"
On the one hand it was nice to hear that but on the other hand it put my W into defensive mode as the guilt washed over her. She spent the rest of the evening in an argumentative and bitter mood. I am sharing this story because as part of my 180 I'm trying to better understand how this all impacts my W and how she feels about herself, because her feelings are her reality. I so badly want to break through the distance between us but I know the old MR is dead, and whatever new MR we are going to have will need to be built together.
