Hi all
Just wanted to jump on here before Christmas madness rolls around and give a quick update(or not real update). One of the best things was finding divorce busting book and this forum in April this year. BD was 11 Dec 2022 so a year on. H moves to America for work on 3rd January so only a few weeks left of him around. Kids don’t seem too phased. I have really dropped the rope and let him go. I’ve left him to whatever higher power or god or whatever is out there and whatever they have in store for this man. Right now I am finding myself again finding my feet and enjoying feeling grounded again. Letting go is hard. I know how all you newbies feel. However if your spouses are in MlC that problem is bigger than you or I or anyone can fix. Since letting go I’ve really detached from H in the sense of not putting pressure on him smothering him saying stuff anything that triggers him. He just triggers himself now and gets mad at himself haha.
I too, was like many, and believed there was no AP but I hate to say it there almost always is. I only recently discovered that he was having an EA or “friendship” as he called it by accidentally coming across something. Last week he even opened up a bit and said “ I have to go and meet that friend for half an hour and get out of that mess. I neeed to end everything she has a lot of issues and I’ve been dragged into that mess”. Turns out she was a “lonely married woman” that I can only assume was an old work colleague. He then got angry for telling me all that. To be honest it didn’t phase me in the slightest. My response was “ my advice to your friend would be to tell her to turn her focus to her own husband and fight for her marriage rather than seeking stuff elsewhere and destroying other people’s lives” he just nodded and told me I was being far to wierd and calm. I actually didn’t even care. I can only imagine the mess he has got himself into. Allowing a lonely married woman into his private life and manipulating ( yep let’s be honest that’s what a lot of women are good at) a weak MLC man to blow up his whole world. Safe to say it’s all on him. His mess, his $hit, good luck to him and his conscious. He’s ramped up the drinking and the whingeing about his age again ( likely because the move is coming up and to Drown out his consience)

Meanwhile I am good. I have a few plans of redecorating when he leaves, will enjoy the extra wardrobe space. Joining a local sporting club in the new year. As a kid I was super sporty and always wanted to play Australian rules football but unfortunately when I was growing up, girls were not allowed to play. Times have changed so I am going to be joining a “masters” team ( over 35s) and looking forward to it. Then I’m just throwing myself into my kids my family my friends. I’ve wasted enough time and energy on H this last year. MLC really suck. Mine has followed the script pretty closely. I would say he’s only 18-20 months in so he’s still got another year or two left if he even manages to grow up and grow through it. I do hope the space and him being on the other side of the world is the kick up the ass he needs but he could also just stay like this way forever. And that’s ok because honestly I’m finally knowing I’m ok now and I have a lot to live for in this life and he isn’t going to be my anchor
Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas
Will keep you updated on post move( I am prepared I will cry but not in front of him)

M:41 H:48
T:20. M:16.5
BD: 15/12/22 -moved out 17/3/2023