Nursing is such a high stress job, that chaos becomes the norm, and stability is what's actually difficult to deal with. From the little I've read, you did all you could. I'm sure she did her best to deal with everything. It's just a horrible situation. But, it's up to you now to be the rock for the children. Be the rock for yourself, and also for her.
I can see what you're saying about the nursing industry. She had a way of closing down and clamming up around the difficult times in nursing. It was too hard to explain it to someone on the outside but too easy to need to share it with like experienced people who understood without explanation.
All in all though it was her Borderline Personality Disorder and traumatic childhood that I think caused her to need to throw wrenches into the gears. She used to refer to me as her personal Hosea. She'd break things and I'd end up forgiving her. Years ago she'd seem terrified I was going to leave her for the way she'd behave. But at some point her need to break things and push me away became greater than her desire to fix it and get things to work.
M: 43 W: 43 Married 6 yrs. T: 7 yrs. Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10
