To be fair, I have only been approaching my best self for around 6 months. During the past 2-3 years I would make changes but backslide often, which usually meant being controlling and critical of her behavior. "You're acting like you're single" etc. Very "her" focused, not me focused. It finally clicked about 6 months ago that I need to change myself.
I think you are being too hard on yourself. There is nothing wrong with you not wanting your W to act single while married to you. What is wrong is how you handled it.
Originally Posted by Maturin
Thanks, do you have any thoughts on how best to do that? I'm looking for ways to face it every day. Yesterday I found myself really down in the dumps and feeling hopeless, but by the evening I was much more optimistic about whatever the future holds. I do think these swings are a part of processing the sitch and facing the fear of losing my W and my family as I've known it.
I would start by listing your fears and how rationale they really are.
