W just told me that some friends invited us to dinner next week and she asked if I wanted to come, and should she get a sitter.
My intuition is to say no. I want to tell her, "That sounds fun and I would love to go, but I won't spend time with someone who spoke to me the way you did on Friday." How does that sound? I can see her reaction in my mind now: she'll bristle, tell me I'm too uptight, roll her eyes, and probably say something mean.
And another question: in order to bust a D it would seem someone in my situation needs to re-attract my W while she also comes to a place of remorse strong enough to begin reconciling. A big dynamic would be spending time together so you can allow for attraction to emerge again. But right now there is so much disrespect that I can't bring myself to spend time with her, it doesn't seem appropriate. But the order should be to re-establish respect and then attraction, correct? Is this what is meant by being patient with the DB process?
