MrP, as I said most of us fell into those traps. My posts were not intended to beat you up, but to get you to see what is going on. As men we are fixers. So it's in our nature to "root cause" a problem. We can't fix something without knowing why it's broken.
The problem is that we have no power to fix a WAW/WW. Whether or not we want to face that fact, we only get control over one person in this life, and she ain't it. So that is why focusing on yourself is so important. Focus on what you can control and that's you.
I like that you said you are doing this to be the best you can be for a future relationship. That's awesome because that's why you should be doing this. Your W is going to either stay or go. What you need to focus on is what both of those look like! What are your expectations if she ends up wanting to stay? You just said that you've been through this before in 2018/2019. As a two time DBer myself, what I've learned is that if you just try to go back to business as usual after your W comes back then you are setting yourself up for the next BD. So what does piercing and reconciliation mean to you? Because you certainly don't want to rinse and repeat the same mistakes from last time.
(Note, the above questions are not intended for you to answer, but you get you to think about it.)
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
