Second roller coaster ride (part 3)

[Card29]

Yeah the way my counselor described vision boards is they're a tool that helps some people figure out what they truly want, what motivates them, etc. It's not for everyone. I figure it's an easy thing to try one of the nights I don't have my kids. I'm going to start accumulating magazines for the time being, then I'll pick a week I'm alone at home and just see what happens. No expectations.

I couldn’t think of anything worse than a new relationship right now.

I also can't imagine starting a new relationship right now. That helps offset the current desire I have for a companion in the house every night. I do have a strongly independent side to myself, and I think I'm going to love getting to know it again. When I was in college, I had a dream to walk/ride a bike across the US. Of course I'm not going to do that right now because of the little ones and other reasons (money, my lower back haha). But I do think I'll go for an adventure next year. Maybe a solo trip to a new country.

I don’t even know if I’ll ever be ready. I want to find my own feet again for a while. It’s hard when you still love your MLC spouse so much. Mine leaves after Christmas so life is surely going to be very different

One thing I've learned going through a separation / D twice now is however permanent things seems, they will almost always change. No need to be concerned about whether or not you'll be ready for a relationship with someone new in the future. My guess is you will, but it doesn't matter right now. Especially with your WAH moving to the US soon, you have more big changes to experience. As crappy as it is that he's leaving, especially leaving his kids behind, I still hopeful it gives you that extra boost of detachment to rocket you into your future, whether it's with or without him.