Hey Steve - Well, my sense remains that W is still really conflicted about these things. In a prior conversation about the holidays when BD occurred, W expected I'd be here for Christmas Eve "because you're still my husband" were her words. I don't perceive she's confident divorce is the right solution. I expect the exchange didn't go how she'd like it to because 1) she wants me to be present for Christmas Eve and 2) she wants to resolve if we'll have it at our house.
From my perspective, the exchange went well. I've not given a final answer. I felt put on the spot while brushing my teeth and getting ready for work. We had all night yesterday to talk without any time constraints. I'm also not allowing any cake-eating where W gets to have both the D process moving forward and a final holiday together. I was courteous and respectful but enforcing a boundary about having adequate time to thoughtfully decide what is best for me and D13.
I don't agree. Remember, less words, more action.
It's ok not to give her a definite answer. But you allowed this conversation to delve into a negotiation.
"I'll have to think about it " And then walk away.
As far as confidence in the D on her part, remember this adage:
"When they want to come back to the marriage, you will know. When they don't, you'll be confused."
It's not that she lacks confidence in divorce, it's that you're confused about what she wants. A very common trap that LBSs fall into.
Last edited by SteveLW; 12/06/2303:57 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
