My sons and I went over for a small family dinner at MILs last night. It was meaningful for all of us and I led the way. W thanked me for listening to her cousin talk for hours (eldest S and I sat with him at the table after dinner and then it was just me and a man I respect and love who just lost his father). I replied it was meaningful for me to be with him. When W had invited me yesterday she said “I don’t know if you would want to come for dinner or if that means anything to you.
I had a difficult time sleeping after. Took time for me to settle my mind and deal with some emotions after being there with W. I determined to have zero expectations of her with going last night and getting to sleep was a part of me clarifying that for myself.
On a side note, while I am focused on my return to work and my health and being social, a couple of women of late (one from dance and another from a social group from church) have dropped some hints at me about being available for dates. I am being clear and not leading them on or compromising my values so I have redirected and engaged with others in the social environment (eg danced with others or talking with men during the church social outing.
