Ok Joseph I get you don’t see the point in continuing to follow and engage. Fair. You see it as a waste of time. My appreciation to you for being honest and blunt. Thank you for your input. I have found it very helpful and I don’t see any of it as a waste to me.
The fact is I am trying hard. I am focused on what is important the best I can be using the most appropriate supports I can find.
Work is going well and it is appropriately requiring a lot of my attention and energy and leaving me tired after. My shift lengths have increased from three hours to eight and now I am up to four shifts in a week. I am approaching my work and my life in healthier ways and engaging in therapy.
I continue to encounter a lot of emotions but I am managing them better. They can be very strong and demand my attention but I am staying in control of my behaviors and what I do about them. I am having a lot of feelings and noticing some difficult thoughts during these holidays but I am doing a better job of being the pilot and navigating my way and influencing my thoughts and choosing my actions.
“…I’m not entirely sure why anyone would need to choose their words carefully around their strong loving parents.”
I determined to speak the way I did to my parents out of love, respect, admiration and appreciation for them as is my way with them. They have been married 55 years and are humble strong generous parents and grandparents. I communicated that I am going through very difficult disconnection in my M and that I don’t know the outcome. I told them I haven’t made the decision to proceed with divorce but that I need to do what’s best for me and our kids. To be honest, this weekend I have entertained thoughts that maybe I do want to file but I’m not there. I did not make mention of W’s A. I told them I’m doing well and I will be ok. I told them their prayers love and support are valued and that I have counseling.
“However, of course your wife ghosted them. She wants out of the marriage and out of the family and doesn’t want them as FIL or MIL. From her point of view they aren’t family anymore.”
True
“…your wife was contacting you to see the kids for the holidays for you to turn around and say 3 out of 4 don’t live with you. Do you see how that doesn’t add up?”
I do see that. Eldest D and granddaughter visited for Thanksgiving but will not be here at Christmas. S lives with me. Eldest S will be here at Christmas in and out. He rents a separate suite here in the house with a roommate. Youngest D moved out and will be coming over for holidays. She is coming here Christmas morning. She might also stay over Christmas Eve. She can sleep in her old room. Last Christmas Eve those 3 and I had a really great time staying up late here together playing games laughing and watching movies.
W proposed that she come over here to open presents Christmas Day with youngest 2 kids.
Regarding my DB attempts, I lately have been wondering if I should have followed Kind’s option A of putting W’s things in storage last year and giving her my L’s contact info. I didn’t and here I am still going through a lot of crap.
