B89, I understand what you mean about not changing who you are as a person. It might help to think about doing the things that are the "best" of you in some cases. MWD talks about the "you" that your spouse was originally attracted to. What are the things that bring you the most joy, fun, and pleasure (w/o your spouse)? In some cases, it can also mean what new interests might you try to also generate similar feelings? Or feelings like peace, relaxation, and contentment.

For me, (an ambi-vert who has to be extroverted for work but inherently introverted), going to different public libraries for HOURS is one of my favorite personal things to do. I also have a long overdue comic book grading and selling project that I've picked back up. Long walks in some public parks I'm less familiar with are another favorite. I'll take in a sports game at a local bar crowded with people I don't know, at least for a beer and a meal. Try to mix it up while you get a sense for what you're enjoying.

And, if you're W asks where you're heading, you simply say "Out" or "To run a few personal errands". As little as possible because this is 1) all yours and 2) meant to get her wondering.

Good luck. Welcome to this community. It is as you likely already see one of great help and care.

Last edited by DnJ; 12/02/23 02:14 PM. Reason: Corrected typo.