If I were you I would document everything that is happening and has happened. Keep a log or journal of how much time you spend with the kids, how often she goes out 'partying', all of the drunken fights she starts, if/how it effects the kids, etc.
Buy a digital recorder and make sure it's running during any interactions with her. Especially during her drunken tirades. All she needs to do is call 911 and say she feels threatened, and you're out of the house w/ a TRO against you, will have no contact with your kids, etc.
You said she's a SAHM. How's she getting the money to go out raging? Cut that money source off. All that money that she spends going out, put in an account for yourself. Hell, hide it under a mattress or in the backyard.
Talk to a lawyer. Talk to several lawyers. Find one that is willing to fight for full custody.
Make no mention of Divorce to your wife, ever again. She's already called your bluff on that. Get your ducks in a row and file. Go for full custody. In my opinion, that's the only thing that may snap her out of this.
I agree with all of this, but you do it to protect you,your kids, and your relationship with your kids, not to snap her out of it. Her snapping out of it is not the main reason you do the other very wise things Tarapin recommends.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
